Cerberus
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    Distant Healing ?

    Thursday, May 22, 2008, 11:31 AM CET [General]

    Sometimes I seriously question if I have what it takes to be a professional healer you know. Everything I do for people (readings, talks, energy stuff) is for healing them. You can imagine I came across to a lot of horrible situations which makes me feel so lucky because I'm not the one who's going through them.

    On the other hand, I still feel so sorry for them...Please don't get me wrong it's not like I pity on them. It's just sadness. I'm meeting a lot of people also in my social life and try to become friends with these people but mostly it turns out they just needed some healing in their lives and once there's a certain level of order they just move on and I go on as a solitary person...Until know only 2 friends stayed in my life and all the rest went on with their lives. I think this is one of the down sides of dedicating yourself as a healer. People will be attracted to you because they need healing. Mostly they won't even know why they are attracted to you and it can even turn into a relationship before you realize. That happened as well. Once I fell in love with somebody like a lightening strike but turns out the person was heavily depressed and couldn't keep up a relationship so we were together for 2 weeks but it took a year just to get over...Mind you I didn't say forget :)

    The other thing about working with people who needs healing is seeing their pain, feeling what they feel and being sorry for it. I'm not talking about a physical pain here. I know enough shielding and I don't pick up their physical pain or something. It's plain sad. To see some people in some situations. There's this guy for example I've met who's going through a horrible phase in his life where he has his own uncurable disease, an abusive father who's dying of cancer himself and a family who could turn any monk into a psyco! This guy has been abused also in his last relationship and when I talk to him only thing I want to do is protecting him and telling I'll take care of everything. So fragile, so vulnurable looking yet I know the real healing is making him aware of his own power in life and help him to stand on his own feet. I'm doing my best to do so but I just wanted to tell you how it feels in the inside for me.

    I came across to some messed up stories like a daughter who was abused by the father...Healing her is one thing but then I felt the father who's dead right now and in pain with regret of what he has done to her. These are complicated processes and takes time for all sides...Now I understand why doctors stay so distant from their patients but I don't know if I can distant myself or how far because I'm afraid if I distance myself so much then I might lose the connection I have. This morning a sales person called me to advertise their service for my company and we ended up talking about his son who's fighting cancer right now and her traumas in the past...After the first minute I knew she needed help and I start speaking about certain things which helped her to open up and tell me what was going on in her life.

    In between all this pain and suffering I still have to remember how beautiful the life is and how much we can do with it so I can remind them as well.

    There are of course good things happening as well in my life. Yesterday I received the test copy of my book and it was so emotional...Holding that book was like holding my baby :) Speaking of babies, my cat might give birth any day starting from today. Soon I'll be posting some kitten pictures here :)

     

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    congratulations on your book!
    I have yet to figure out how to keep the feelings of others, both mental and physical out. I'm lucky it is only the people I care about that I get this with, but on the other hand, those are the people ho I deal most with lol.
    I think as you go on and have even more experience with healing, this will get easier for you, but never loose the love you have for people, as it is what makes you so special.

    Herbalpagan
    May 22, 2008
    12:21 PM CET

    Hi there dear :) I am a clergy person and I have been working with folks who need help in their lives for about the past nine or ten years. I counsel as well as do some shamanic-type work - it can be hard sometimes! I have found that sometimes I need to take a step back and realize that the most compassionate thing I can do for anyone I work with is to give them safe space to talk about anything they need to and give them ideas about things that they can do in their own lives which will empower them. Some people won't be ready to take their own power in their hands yet. What you can do for them is to be a compassionate listener, try to see all sides of a situation, help them see the reason to begin to heal. You can't heal someone who isn't ready to be healed - that is something I have defintely learned. People have to want to heal, be ready to work to heal themselves and that's where you come in - you help them to discover what they need and help guide them through the process of healing, along with whatever techniques you are using to work the healing. It can be really difficult at times to avoid taking on someone else's problems. As harsh as it sounds, we cannot hold ourselves responsible for someone else's problems or healing - they have to do that themselves, whether we think their problems were brought on by them or by someone else. Either way, they are ultimately responsible for healing themselves - they come to us for the techniques to do that and for the support. I hope this makes sense :) I am trying to keep track of my two-year old as I write, lol. All of my best to you in your work and your life!!
    Niamh

    Niamh
    May 22, 2008
    01:12 PM CET

    You have a gift. I too have it. We are both empathic. This is what you were blessed with. I have come across people who just wanted a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to. Both you and I have to learn that we can't take this personally. It is hard because you shared so much with this person but believe me just because you might not see them again that doesn't mean they will forget you. You touch people when they need someone like you the most. Believe me when I say that you have left an impression on them. Maybe, you gave them hope that people like you and I are out there and even though we may be complete strangers, think of this, strangers are just friends that we haven't met yet. Blessed Be to you and your ADORABLE kitty!!! I have got to see the baby kitties when they are born!!!

    Lisa
    May 22, 2008
    02:16 PM CET

    Great comments & advice already...

    To meet my challenge between empathy & assistance, I repeatedly ask myself:

    "Are you creating co-dependence?"

    If their problems become yours, then both of you need healing. Shielding with a strong gift is not enough, and expecting to never feel is overwhelming, I understand. So I watch for that type of co-dependent bond forming, and sever, cope with my feelings, and reinforce my shield.

    It is not a failure to feel, it's a blessing. It's down to what you do with it!

    *hugs*

    PS: I need an email to send testimonial to you... should I use the info@ addy from your new site?

    _____________

    Orenda
    May 22, 2008
    03:42 PM CET

    I popped on quickly for a CS fix in between nursing Amber and nanny'ing babies and I see your sweet face (great photos, btw!) and read your loving words and I'm transformed and rejuvenated... thank you for being you, B. (((hug))) This world is lucky to have you and so am I.
    Congrats on your printing! Yea!!!!! I'm soo proud of you :) It will be in English, yes? :P
    Blessings and so much love to you, my dear friend and comfort to your kitty! xxx ooo

    more xxx's and ooo's!

    Heather
    May 22, 2008
    05:53 PM CET
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