Good morning! You know, I don't post blogs everyday but I just had to share this. Last few weeks I'm having hard time sleeping and staying asleep. Kept seeing colors in the room every time I wake up -mostly red- and lots of nightmares as well. Last night before going to bed I did some cleansing and charging. It helped! :)

I was almost sleeping and I heard some quick whispers right next to my ear, like there were more than few people. The good old Cerberus would jump out of the bed and try to discover who were speaking but I just fell asleep feeling so secure just like it was a lullaby...

This morning when I woke up I had only two words in my mind and let me tell you before I have my first coffee I don't have anything in my mind! Actually I must correct that: I just don't have a mind! Those two words were '' Violet Flame''. I know that I read about ıt before and have a slight idea about what it is but I don't really know what it is actually. Then I received a Reiki request from a good friend (hi!) with an SMS and along with the Reiki I also asked her to put herself in Violate Flame and visualize the necessary healing! I don't even know what it is and already advised somebody to use it. Odd! Although I do follow my inner (or outer) guidance a lot so if I get a sentence like that for a person I always say it because I believe it might be something they already know about or use it so it's not my position to judge the importance of the message. I say it and then we can judge together :)))

Anyhow if you know anything about this Violet Flame please let me know. Now I must get ready and go to Ersin to make more jewelery. I'll also google it as soon as I have some time!

It finally happened last night! My cat gave birth! :) She started around 22:00 and I was out with a friend of mine but luckily Arjan was home and around 3:00AM he called me to say the 3rd kitten wasn't coming out so we decided to take them to animal hospital and meet there. Thankfully there was no 3rd kitten and we could take them home.

And this one I saw at the bar I've met my friends on Saturday night. She was licking the left over ice from the glass and attacked people when they wanted to take the glass away.

Sometimes I seriously question if I have what it takes to be a professional healer you know. Everything I do for people (readings, talks, energy stuff) is for healing them. You can imagine I came across to a lot of horrible situations which makes me feel so lucky because I'm not the one who's going through them.

On the other hand, I still feel so sorry for them...Please don't get me wrong it's not like I pity on them. It's just sadness. I'm meeting a lot of people also in my social life and try to become friends with these people but mostly it turns out they just needed some healing in their lives and once there's a certain level of order they just move on and I go on as a solitary person...Until know only 2 friends stayed in my life and all the rest went on with their lives. I think this is one of the down sides of dedicating yourself as a healer. People will be attracted to you because they need healing. Mostly they won't even know why they are attracted to you and it can even turn into a relationship before you realize. That happened as well. Once I fell in love with somebody like a lightening strike but turns out the person was heavily depressed and couldn't keep up a relationship so we were together for 2 weeks but it took a year just to get over...Mind you I didn't say forget :)

The other thing about working with people who needs healing is seeing their pain, feeling what they feel and being sorry for it. I'm not talking about a physical pain here. I know enough shielding and I don't pick up their physical pain or something. It's plain sad. To see some people in some situations. There's this guy for example I've met who's going through a horrible phase in his life where he has his own uncurable disease, an abusive father who's dying of cancer himself and a family who could turn any monk into a psyco! This guy has been abused also in his last relationship and when I talk to him only thing I want to do is protecting him and telling I'll take care of everything. So fragile, so vulnurable looking yet I know the real healing is making him aware of his own power in life and help him to stand on his own feet. I'm doing my best to do so but I just wanted to tell you how it feels in the inside for me.

I came across to some messed up stories like a daughter who was abused by the father...Healing her is one thing but then I felt the father who's dead right now and in pain with regret of what he has done to her. These are complicated processes and takes time for all sides...Now I understand why doctors stay so distant from their patients but I don't know if I can distant myself or how far because I'm afraid if I distance myself so much then I might lose the connection I have. This morning a sales person called me to advertise their service for my company and we ended up talking about his son who's fighting cancer right now and her traumas in the past...After the first minute I knew she needed help and I start speaking about certain things which helped her to open up and tell me what was going on in her life.

In between all this pain and suffering I still have to remember how beautiful the life is and how much we can do with it so I can remind them as well.

There are of course good things happening as well in my life. Yesterday I received the test copy of my book and it was so emotional...Holding that book was like holding my baby :) Speaking of babies, my cat might give birth any day starting from today. Soon I'll be posting some kitten pictures here :)

Lately I couldn't been on Covenspace as much as I wanted so I'm trying to catch with the time I lost and share as much as possible with my friends here. I'm still busy with writing the book and preparing for the shop. It's not always so easy and unexpected things coming to my way every now and then. Especially yesteryday I was pretty tensed about some license and a price list I've received...While nagging about this never ending small glitches in the plan I realized I was being tested.

You know I keep giving ideas to people for dealing with their issues. Now I'm being tested to see if I can apply all this rules to my annoying problems. So I decided to see my ''problems'' as chance for growing and testing the methods I've learned. Until now it's working :)

Just uploaded a few pictures I've made in the last week. Nothing serious, it's just me having fun with myself.

Here, you see me under my blanket entertaining my inner child, though I'm not really sure that he is ''in''. Seems that my inner child spends more time out then he is in :)))

Taken from the same occasion :) If I'm gonna spend my life speaking to dead, teaching about spirituality and counseling people I better have lots of fun along the way myself so I can always stay ''fresh'' :))

Here you see Cerberus The Puppy...what hell hound??  LOL

Me...tired...need...sleep

This is from yesterday, ready to go for the masonic ritual. I was visiting Arjan's lodge to see an initiation ceremony of them.

And last but not least; Kedis the cat! She was showing quite a bit attention my mouse as you can see:) Btw I notice that my atm card is on my oracle deck...I want to take that as a sign saying I'll be able to earn my life with my job?? LOL or I'm just too messy :p

Update: A few minutes ago Arjan called me out to balcony to show these pink clouds :)I immediatly took pictures of them to share. I think they look so cute :) And I was busy writing about a positive outlook towards life and pink shaded glasses, there you go; when there's sunset who needs pink shaded glasses?!